What a difference A Day makes

Some time back a rather precocious student of mine asked me a question I just couldn't answer fast enough. I believe I was somewhere in the middle of my well-rehearsed explanation for the many forms of English, a speech I inevitably have to give to any and all the classes I deem able to understand it. Korean children, and occasionally even the adults, have a difficult time grappling with the reality that different countries with differing cultures and histories can share the same language. This lecture—and since it's part of an English course intended for Korean adolescent comprehension it includes the requisite pale monkey antics and foolery—involves an embarrassingly short history of colonialism and revolution: a sort of "put the banana on the English-speaking countries, put the apple on the Spanish-speaking..." kind of exposition.

I was moving along with this worn-out sermon at a swift, orderly pace by this point, the expressive apples and bananas making a veritable sundae as I juggled them around the whiteboard. And then, seemingly from out of nowhere it came: “When is America day?" "Whhhaaaatttt.....," I asked a little confused. To my utter amazement the child went on to explain to me that both Canada and Australia (I believe he lived in Australia for a time) each have their respective, self-titled national holidays.

Now this was quite something. It’s been my experience that the cavernous insides of an average Korean boy’s prepubescent mind rarely hold much more than the memories of the current month’s most popular computer game and a few colorful dactchi. I suppressed both my bafflement and the powerful desire to respond with the arrogant answer, “everyday is America day,” and took a deep breath.

“America has an independence day just like Korea,” I went on. I purposely invoked this comparison as an appeal to his own systematically-instilled sense of Korean superiority and exceptionalism. “Then what’s the difference between Canada day and American Independence day?” was his apt reply. I gave the child a wry smile and said bluntly “well my boy, when your country has spilt blood for their independence you get an independence day. And when a bunch of ex-lawyers put on their Sunday bests, get in a big colorful group and make a law over it, well, you just get a day.” I don’t know if he understood the humor in this; but I got a kick out’a saying it.

[My apologies to all my Canadian and Australian friends out there.]