Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Conversation With An Ape

김민족: (Respected Korean Journalist): Let me be the first to welcome you to Korea, Joel.

Talking Ape: That’s very nice of you; but this is my third time in Korea, and I’ve been here over 2 years in total.

김민족: That’s fantastic. I hope you’ve enjoyed Korea. Could you start by telling me about your time teaching English here?

Ape: I would be happy to. Let me start by saying that I can’t express enough how much I’ve enjoyed the opportunity to live and work in this country. It’s been a unique experience that I’ve benefited from in so many ways. But I must say that due to the systemic cultural/racial prejudices teaching English here in Korea as a foreigner can be quite frustrating at times.

김민족: Ahh, that’s very interesting. So have you seen the 63 building here in Seoul? You know it’s the tallest in the country, right?

Ape: Uhmm, well, yes I’ve seen it. It’s very nice. But as I was saying, the natural insularity of Korea combined with the race-based prejudices passed on from generation to generation do a great deal to undermine a foreign teacher’s classroom authority. Consequently, the fo…..

김민족: So have you tried Kim-Chi?

Ape: ………………CONSEQUENTLY, the foreign teachers are relegated to a position of genuine impotence. In this way we are powerless to effect structural change or even do our job in any meaningful way.

김민족: Great! And it wasn’t too spicy?

Ape: NO!!! IT WASN’T TOO SPICY. I’M CAJUN FOR GOD’S SAKE!!! Are you paying any attention at all to what I’m saying? You explained to me that we would be having a conversation about issues concerning foreigners teaching English in Korea. What does my capacity for eating Kim-Chi have to do with that? I’m trying to explain a very real problem with the Hak-Won system, a problem perpetuated by everything from irrational, xenophobic fear to plain ol’ malicious racial hatred. A problem that could be resolved by……

김민족: Wonderful! And what’s your favorite thing about Korea?

Ape: BEER!!! SOJU!!! GAWKING AT KOREAN WOMEN!!! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT ME TO SAY???

김민족: You like Soju? How many bottles can you drink?

Ape: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

8 comments:

Unknown said...

ohhh, you can use chopsticks very well.

The Expat said...

Funny, although I think it is blown out of proportion which, of course, is why you wrote it and posted it. One track mind that can't see much else, eh? hahaha

The Expat said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mike said...

It's blown out of proportion, but that's not really the point.

The thing is an interview like this would not ever appear on TV in Korea because of what Joel was saying, not the lameness of the questioning on behalf of the interviewer. Which is the part that is pretty sad to me.

Interviewers here are specially trained to stay away from anything in interviews that would evenly remotely have the chance of bringing up a conflict. Hence all of the gloss and overt "Go Korea" attitude in all the English-based program we all know and loathe so much.

It's because of shit like that I have turned down working on a Korean TV show and refused to be interviewed on TV.

Mike said...

evenly = even

I'm medicated.

Logan Row said...

Thanks for the comments..
You’re right, George, it’s purposely asinine and exaggerated; the interviewer’s name is Kim Min Jok (which is an obvious pun) and the interviewee’s name is Talking Ape. This kind of blog entry conforms to the “patent foolery” category I have listed in my blog title. However, my fictional interviewer’s obstinate refusal to discuss or even acknowledge any Korean social problems in the presence of a foreigner reflects a real Korean practice I’ve seen demonstrated again and again. And the questions I have her ask, in addition to their apparent absurdity, are funny because, as you well know, they are real questions that real foreigners are regularly asked.
...Just venting a little “foreigner in Korea” frustration....
Joel

Logan Row said...

Damn!! The chopsticks question is the one I forgot to put in. Nice call, Nate.
Joel

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